Weather the Storm
by hotelsoap177
Summary: Dragons breathing fire in the sky! Vampires attacking people on the street! Cultists popping up like weeds! Civil war unleashed! Filthy Thalmor slinking about! The end is nigh! Only Dovahkiin can save us all! Fortunately, I ain't the Dovahkiin and this ain't my job. Rated M for language, blood, maybe sexual themes, and maybe manliness
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

**From the Author:**

 **Hello dear readers, tis I! The great soap of your nearest local hotel. I am here to grace you with one of my first creations! Despair in its glory!**

 **Okay, jokes aside. Welcome to my very first fanfiction that I finally got around to write, I'm pretty much a novice at this and English is not my first language. So if you see mistakes or have any feedback, they are very welcome. Divines know I need feedback. This is a story that is another shitty self insert BUT! Dovahkiin is not I! and I is not the protagonist. So that makes this story not a self insert... Ignore my self contradiction, I sincerely hope that you enjoy this. Writing is a very work in progress for me and I write SLOW, s** **o don't sit at the edge of your seat hitting refresh for a new chapter** **. I intend to keep updates short to read, around 300 to 600 words per chapter possibly more depending on RL and demand. Something to read at leisure.**

 **Be warned: this story does not follow how things are portrayed exactly in the game. I try to keep things with a touch of realism so don't expect dragons to just flop over and die like in the game, they're supposed to be terrifying. Guards aren't suppose to go "Dragon or anything, if it comes I will kill it." People will wet themselves. Go check out Deadly Dragons or DCO mods, those are what you call flying machines of raep and death. I'll try to portray things as realistic as I can with a FANTASY setting, that being said, correct me if you see something that doesn't make sense.**

 _ **TESV: Skyrim does not belong to me. All rights belong to Bethesda.**_

 **So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Bethesda, he who is both man and Divine!**

 **Enjoy**

* * *

 ** _Prologue_**

 _It was a lively night in the Bannered Mare just like any other night, the sweet smell of mead and roast meats always welcome to the weary traveler…. Perhaps not, the mead doesn't smell that good, moving on… In the corner sat a drunk old man in worn robes with a scarred face lazily strumming his lute, which seems to be in not much of a better condition than his face. Across from him sat a, strange, young figure in scale armor with a fur lined-surcoat over it._

 _"Gather around my lovelies," he gestured to the pair of busty wenches that were walking by "for tonight I recount the tales of a strange and brave young man lost in a foreign land. A tale of honor! Of duty! Of love! This, is my tale-"_

 _"No old man," the younger person interrupted with slurred words, "You don't have any honor or duty to speak of. You're just an old drunk who can't even pay for his own drink." He said as he clumsily handled his drink. Was it a he? Or a she?_

 _Forget it, it's ugly enough to be a troll, moving on._

 _The old man slams his fist onto the table, growling. "Think you're hot shit aye? I'll show you ta respect yer elders." With a sudden motion, the old man flips the table and smashes it into the young... person's face, sending him sprawling onto the floor. The last thing he saw before his vision went black was the elbow of a tavern wench that was knocked over in the old crook's fit descending down onto his face._

{*Obligatory skyrim theme*}

{Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin, naa lok zin los vahriin. Dadadaa dadadaaa tada dudududuuu…..}

{*Fade out*}


	2. Chapter 2

**{4 months ago}**

"Mmmhm, hello there, dirt. We meet again. Thank you very much for the wake-up call."

I sat up, spitting the dirt out of my mouth. Why am I here, in the middle of a forest and not in my comfy bed? Why is it a coniferous forest of all things? Last I remembered, I don't come from a place where you can find coniferous forests anywhere within a few thousand kilometers. I felt some part in the back of my mind panicking but it was quickly overwhelmed by my confusion

A cool breeze swept through the forest, kicking up leaves and blowing them into my face. I shivered and then it dawned on me that there was not a single item of clothing on my body, I am fully exposing my Not!glorious body to the world. This I find perplexing. I was not drunk before I went to sleep, I wasn't even drinking. What the flying fuck? I'm supposed to be in a tropical country but why is it this cold? Where the hell am I? Similar questions flowed through my mind and I could not suppress my anxiety at the growing lack of answers.

{Brrrrggmm *CRACK*}

{Pitpatpitpat}

A familiar rumble and crack brought me back to my surroundings, it started to rain through the canopy of the trees above me. Cold droplets fell on my bare body. It's actually pretty painful for someone like me who isn't accustomed to this kind of temperature.

"Well shit" I muttered

Quickly scanning my surroundings, I spotted a cave to my right. It had a small entrance in the middle of a rocky formation leading diagonally into the ground. I thought caves were only in the side of mountains and hills? I'm from the city so what can I really say? You learn something new everyday. Putting aside my less important thoughts, I got up and went into the cave for shelter.

Its dark…. Pitch black inside the cave, I suppose that's to be expected for a hole in the ground. The darkened skies outside did nothing to help my vision. So with a burst of courage, I timidly took a step in deeper.

Deeper again, another step, and another.

I sincerely hope that snakes aren't a common thing here…. Wherever the hell I am. Part of me is yelling at me for going in deeper, surely this isn't a cliché movie scene where I keep going deeper towards my inevitable demise right? I mean, come on, it's a cave and it goes deeper into the darkness. What can go wrong?

The logical part of my mind, which is most of my mind, immediately gives me a plenty of scenarios that does not end well for me.

{*CLANK*}

"AH! MMUHTFFFGH…. FFFFuuueh" I yelped and mentally swore as I stubbed my right toe on something heavy and metallic.

Taking more than a couple of breaths myself down as my heart tried to leap out of my chest, I couldn't see what I came into contact with so I bent down and groped around for it. I felt my hand around a handle and lifted the object, I have no idea what it is but its damn heavy. Just then, a flash of lightning outside the cave reflected off the object for a second.

I picked it up and felt it's rough surface, I knew what it was but that wasn't important right now. That Other thing is.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again! This is the last chapter I am releasing today, next release will be sometime in late January or even February, but fear not! They are definitely coming as I have them sitting in front of my desk, I just need to stop being lazy and proofread it.**

 **This is the Extra Long Chapter Christmas Speshul Deal! Onry for 999.69 internet pointo! Or your soul! Merry Christmas.**

 **Note: anything within {} are sound effects, anything within ' ' are the protag's inner thoughts.**

* * *

It's…. a club? I didn't get a good look at it or ponder on why I would find something like this here because the lightning revealed something far, far more important.

"Oh, Ohhhhhhhhh…. SHEEIIT"

' _IREGRETMYCHOICESINLIFE'_

I swung the object I held with both hands at the pair of eerie blue eyes that glowed in the dark and was rewarded with a dull metal sound of the club hitting it. Although it seemed like I got it with a good baseball swing, it looks like it did next to nothing as the pair of blue eyes started to advance on me. Seeing two glowing eyeballs of possible death and eventual decay coming closer in the dark is quite the experience, such thrills, my heart seems like it's trying to leap out of my throat as I ran out of the cave and into the rain. I turned back and gripped my makeshift club- winged mace actually. It's a light one, for a European styled mace, one handed and well rusted. I fixed my eyes on the figure emerging from the cave and shivered, not because of the cold, but because of the obscene amount of adrenaline shooting its way through my bloodstream.

A skeleton in some sort of leather clothes emerged and I worried how such a thing is possible, but more importantly, it had an axe and is currently charging at me. Sheer terror welled up inside me and I backpedaled, steeling myself to receive the blow as it swung downwards at me with the axe.

{*Clang*}

This thing has got some real strength behind its blow, despite being made of just the flimsy human skeletal system. Even when I deflected the blow to the side, I felt the impact in my bones inside my right arm and shoulder. I quickly stepped out of its reach as it swung for another downward strike with the axe.

But an axe is short and quite unwieldy, missing your swing gives everyone a good opportunity to shank you. I took the opportunity and leapt into the skeleton, adrenaline and terror working into my limbs as I demolished it. I tried to quickly smash it's head in but ended up simply bludgeoning it to death. Or un-undeath, or pieces of brittle bones. Whatever.

I stripped the skeleton of its leather clothing and quickly put it on to help me deal with the cold wind that is disturbing my fragile well-being. You might say that I'm disgusting for wearing clothes of a long deceased person but I'll do what I want. Not running around butt naked is one of the things I want, I may be a sheltered kid brought up in comfort but I'm not completely helpless as long as I have something to wear in this weather. But that's that, I've got more important issues right now. I need a shelter ASAP, being out in the rain in this kind of climate can't be good for my health. Neither is staying in a dark cave good for my sanity.

* * *

 **Several hours later**

The rain has stopped a while ago, but not before drenching me and causing me to almost go into hypothermia. Had I not discovered an abandoned shack then perhaps I would have succumbed. On the bright side, I found signs of civilization and a bed. An abandoned shack is a step up from a dark cave, it doesn't seem like anyone has been using this shack for a while. It's pretty run down, the wind sometimes gets through the flimsy walls and doors. On the way here I got the jump on a goat and managed to beat it to death, but not before it knocked me around with its horns. Luckily I ended up with a few bruises and not gored or beat to death by a goat. Death by goat. Heh, I chuckled to myself at the thought of having that written in a homicide investigation report or on my shrine plate.

I am currently sitting outside the shack roasting the meat I ungracefully hacked off the thing with the ancient axe from the skeleton, which then broke immediately afterwards. I barely got the fire started because it was wet from the rain and I can barely move my limbs due to exhaustion. Probably that adrenaline burst I had, left me drained afterwards. Or maybe from swinging a heavy ass mace. Surely nothing could go wrong if I spend the night in some old abandoned shack right? Its right by the river-stream- thingy, I have no idea if it's large enough to be called a river, but I have a source of probably not-healthy-but-drinkable water. I've got food cooking, got an old bed, the sun is getting low, yeahhhh. Let's call it a day.

The goat tasted terrible.

I climbed onto the crappy bed with …. Straw? And hide as a blanket? Whatever, there's probably third world countries that are cold and has beds like this, maybe. Before I closed my eyes however, I noticed a table thing with flasks and bottles and alchemy looking things…..

Alchemy looking things?

"Waaaaait" Did I not see this somewhere before? I got out of bed and stepped closer and examined it. My mouth became dry, I recognized it.

Why would I recognize some maniacal looking thing that might as well be someone's meth lab? I was playing Skyrim last night, and I was messing around with the modded alchemy. This table looks exactly like the one in Skyrim. The blue eyes of the skeleton matches the ones of the draugr and skeletons in Skyrim. My mace looks Nordic, maybe, probably. My clothing looks like those shitty leather/hide armor in the game.

"Nope. Fuck this. I'm going to go to sleep and wake back up in my actual bed."


End file.
